I was going to write this really thought-provoking blog on feminism tonight, but it’s late and I have a two year old asleep in my bed and I have to be up early. So no.

Tonight is choices.

Sometimes you have  goal, and you talk to everyone about that goal and they all know you’re going for it and you’re striving and running that race and it’s all great…and then. Something pops up that could take your race a completely new direction, but it would mean stepping off the track your on, abandoning the first goal altogether and trying something else.

In this case, I’m not talking about anything quite so life-changing as say, moving to Namibia or pursuing a career as a Peruvian folk singer. Today the choice is small, fairly easy.

Quit NaNoWriMo for the chance to maybe, possibly but probably not write a prequel to the The Dark Crystal? Or don’t?

It’s such a little choice. Not much impact on my forever, really. Just for fun. But even the little choices have their moments of struggle. We all know that I am, at best, flaky. At worst, horrifyingly fickle. So is this just one more example of me being…that? The consequences here are mostly emotional.

Will I feel like I let myself down? Would I be quitting NaNoWriMo because I know I’m not going to finish (I’m not. November has been the worst)? What will my writer’s group say? Will they be disappointed in me? What if I would have entered the novel contest and won? That’s an opportunity missed, right?

It seems so silly to waste thought of such a tiny decision. But I guess, at the end of the day, none of our decisions are really silly. They are what they are, big and small, and they all impact our lives. I see decisions like the projection path of a hurricane. They start at a point, and as time goes on, their influence in our lives gets  wider and wider. that’s not actually how a hurricane projection works. roll with me. So maybe even the little decisions shape us in ways we don’t see, may never see.

Like stepping on a butterfly or something. I don’t know. I didn’t see that movie.

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One thought on “Butterfly Rag

  1. If you’re taking votes..I say go with your heart, the story will come out so much better. I think we both know which one your heart wants to write..

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