Apparently, this is actually an Aztec calendar, sort of.
Apparently, this is actually an Aztec calendar, sort of.

I read somewhere that the Mayan Calendar does NOT predict that the world will end today. Since you are reading this, I’m pretty sure that what I read was correct. That and the fact that Australia is apparently still in existence as I’m writing this on Thursday night and it’s already the 21st over there.

Anyway, the article…it further stated that, rather than predicting Armageddon, the MC foretells a “great change.” I, for one, would love to see a number of things change, great and otherwise. Here is my list, not complete and with little hope, but hey, if it’s the end of the world as we know it there’s no harm in trying, right?

School hours: High schoolers are physically incapable of being truly awake at seven a.m. It is a biological impossibility. I know this because of the glassy eyed stares I receive during first block every morning. Their eyes are open, but I’m fairly certain that most of them aren’t actually conscious. Classes should never start before 9 a.m. The fact that this would also allow me to sleep an extra hour is immaterial.

Tax rates: No, I am not naïve enough to think that we shouldn’t have to pay them. I like having protection from fires and criminals. I also like the calendars. Neither do I believe that rich people should pay higher taxes than anyone else. Mostly because if I were rich, I wouldn’t want to be penalized for my success either. What does burn my toast is that there are so many loopholes, which are only available if you have enough money to pay tax attorneys to find them for you, that a lot of rich people end up paying far less than their share. Fair is fair and everyone should pay the same percentage of their income, be you rich, poor, businessman or Congresswoman. No shelters, upper limits or loopholes. If everyone paid the same percentage, the public coffers would be closer to full. Better yet, fewer folks would have room to complain about how unfair the tax system is. I think we would all enjoy the peace and quiet.

Free Chocolate Fridays: This speaks for itself. Who wouldn’t like free chocolate? For the loonies who have the incredible bad taste to dislike, or even feel indifferent towards, chocolate; they can substitute the yummy goodness of their choice. If everyone were blissed out on chocolate one day a week, crime rates would go down because everyone would be less stressed out and cranky. We might need to open more weight loss centers but really, we probably need that anyway.

There are others, needless to say: idiot ejection buttons, a shut up switch, the ever-full wallet, sober-up pills (I borrowed that one from Eve Dallas), the legalization of, ummm, mellowness. These would all be good changes. What would you change, if you could?

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