“I just don’t have anything to say right now.”

That was my response when someone recently questioned me about the extended hiatus from my chronic illness blog. But that can’t be true. With all the experiences I’ve had in the past six months, it seems unlikely that there’s been nothing inspirational to the creative juices of this writer.

In the past six months…

My baby sister graduated from high school.

My oldest brother was married and soon after announced they were expecting a baby.

We left the state where we’ve been living for the past seven years.

We bought an RV and traveled the country from coast to coast for two months, the trip of a lifetime.

My baby brother got married.

We moved from a large metropolitan area to a plot of land in a secluded, rural area 700 miles away.

We started a brand new business.

I lost 65 pounds and have seen a reduction or remission in many of my chronic illness symptoms for the first time in 19 years.


Surely there’s something to write about there, yet I have not written a word.  Until today.  Because today I realized that perhaps that last item on the list has changed everything. It’s possible my identity has been so wrapped up in my challenges with chronic illness for over half my life that now I’m struggling to see the world through the eyes of a person who is feeling well. I can now do things I wasn’t able to do before like take a walk with my husband, go into a store without using a wheelchair, walk up and down a flight of stairs, or wake up refreshed in the morning.

And all this has thrown me into a state of – I don’t even know what to call it, except that I am not quite sure who I am anymore without chronic illness tainting every thought and activity of my life. But I am ready to find out. And it’s going to be an adventure!

Question: Have you ever experienced a major life change that left you feeling completely out of sorts, wondering who you are and where you fit into the world? How did you cope? What did you learn?


Deanna Nichols, or M1ssDiagnosis as she is known to her readers, is the author of the blog “A Fragile Faith: Finding Purpose in Suffering,” (http://www.faithisfragile.blogspot.com) which explores her personal journey of faith in the midst of a lifetime of chronic illness. She and her husband Jon have also recently released a Contemporary Christian album entitled “Faith’s Journey,” (http://www.jonanddeanna.net) which shares their personal story and is meant to encourage others walking through difficult life circumstances. They live in Northern Virginia where they own and operate several small businesses and enjoy traveling, watching football, and doing outdoor activities with their 3 Siberian huskies.


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