Don’t forget, you still have until Wednesday to get those Flash Fiction entries in! Come on, people, 500 words? That’s cake.

Ahem. So today it’s review day. unfortunately, I have babykins running around ripping pages out of books and getting into general mischief, so reading isn’t coming along as nicely as I might have hoped. So, today, one of my favorite things: LISTS!

Up today: Five books that came highly Recommended that made me want to kill myself and also the people who wrote them and also the people who recommended them.

Or Seriously, did we read the same book?, if you prefer.

Or SDWRTSB

1. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

This one was so disappointing. I was wait-listed for it at the library forEVER, which just fueled the anticipation and expectation that this book was going to be OMGAMZING. And then it just…wasn’t. I mean, it was ok. The story itself was good-ish. The characters were pretty great. But in execution, Mr.Larsonn leaves with only a 2.5. He does what my mother refers to as “data dumps”, or large amounts of information that serve no purpose other than giving information. He does it with back story, with the investigation, with information about characters. I must have missed a third of the book just skimming over these huge blocks of text. The writing has a tendency to just plod along, barely making any discernible progress until you’re nearly screaming “For goodness sakes, get on with it!!”

It also wounded my pride a bit. I’m not a dumb person, and I know really dumb people who liked this book. Which makes me wonder if really they are the smart ones and I just don’t get it.

2. Babywise

This has the distinction of being the only book on the list I never even made an attempt to finish, because less than a dozen pages in, it already sounded ludicrous, and I was directed to this website. I feel like a man whose daughters have estranged themselves from him, who does not back up his parenting advice with actual scientific research and who doesn’t actually hold a college degree (his MA was earned via “Life Experience”, not college credit) has no business handing out parenting advice and passing it off as definitive.

3. Death Comes to Pemberly

I didn’t finish this either, but I did try. Oh, how I tried.  PD James, how could you do this to me after Children of Men, which was SO SO good? This is not at all up to her normal par, which broke my heart into pieces. Sadly, rather than reading like a murder-mystery thriller, it reads like fan fiction. And not good fan fiction. I guess that’s essentially what it is, though. Pride and Prejudice is public domain at this point, so authors can have their way with its characters in whatever way they please, never mind that Jane Austen is absolutely rolling in her grave.

4. Oliver Twist

This one is my own fault. I just don’t care for Dickens. In a “Why did anyone ever publish this guy?” sort of way.

5. Fifty Shades of Grey

“The Elevator whisked me at terminal velocity”

Did it, Ana Steele? Terminal velocity? Really?

You’re dumb.

I’m still reading this. I’m ashamed that I’m reading it, because it is so, so bad. And if you think it is so, so good, you are wrong.

But I’m still reading it.

Ugh.

Flash Fiction. 500 words, people. Lets go!

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2 thoughts on “SDWRTSB?

  1. The book that left me completely baffled was a break-out romance novel, California Girl Chronicles, written by my prospective publisher, Michelle Gamble-Risley at 3L Publishing.
    At our writer’s workshops she had mentioned that the story was steamy, and if one was offended by harsh language….. well, she actually said, “You’re an adult, riiiiight?” I decided it wasn’t a book I’d spend $13 dollars on, but when she offered it to us (her writers group) for $5, I bought one.
    Just five pages into the book I was confused and thought maybe I just didn’t ‘get’ her style of writing. No. Half way through the book I realized it’s just terrible! If California Girl Chronicles is a ROMANCE, then Jenna Jamison is an ACTRESS!
    You guessed it! I dropped all communication with 3L Publishing. Her staff is either inept or … desperate to stay employed.

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